Glossary

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

B

BDSM — Erotic play that involves consensual use of toys, techniques, and role-play to intensify the experience. The compound acronym derives from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). Because these activities are at the extreme end of the very wide BDSM spectrum, and because a lot of people can’t relate to them (even if they’re kinky in other ways), I prefer the term kink.

K

kink — Erotic play that involves consensual use of toys, techniques, and role-play to intensify the experience. Kink involves a very wide range of activities. Also called BDSM.

P

poly — Short for polyamory or polyamorous.
polyamory — The practice of having more than one sexual or intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and free consent of everyone involved. Also called poly.
polyamorous — Practicing or constituting polyamory. Also called poly.

S

safeword — A code word you can use during sex or kink play to unambiguously tell your partner to stop, or to reduce the intensity of what they’re doing. Safewords are particularly useful in sexual and kinky role play, where someone might say “no” or “Stop!” without actually wanting the action to stop.

scene — 1. a period of time devoted to kinky (BDSM) activity. 2. Of or about the kink (BDSM) community, usually capitalized: “the Scene”.

splitting — A type of relating in which the other person is alternately seen as “all good” or “all bad.”


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